Have you ever been around someone that just has the “it” factor?  It seems like others flock towards these types of leaders.  The real question is what is the “it” factor and how can we all get better at developing our own unique “it” factor?

• I feel that people can have the “it” factor in many different forms but at the end of the day, I believe that the “it” factor is simply making others feel great about themselves and helping others succeed.  Usually the people full of personality make others feel better about themselves when they are in their company because they are usually up beat and happy.  We have talked before about how important it is to build relationships with the people you are trying to lead.  Management turns into true leadership when a relationship is formed.  This is when people want to follow you instead of when people feel they have to follow you.  It is the soft skills of leadership that will either take you down or raise you up to the next level of leadership.
• Here are a few adjectives that I feel describe people that have the “it” factor: leader, trust, self confident, firm, clear, safe, understanding, inspirational, encouraging, self esteem, loyal and one that inspires action.  Here a few words that I think kill the “it” factor: ego, pride, not being humble, being a know it all, judging, demeaning, always having an excuse and always having to be right. 
• The good news is that your brain can get rewired if you are willing to feed it differently.  What you focus on is typically what will improve.  Here a few ways I feel that we can all work on developing our own unique “it” factor.
• 1. Get to know little things about others.  Once a week ask everyone on the shift a question that is not work related to get to know more about them and start to build the relationship.  People’s favorite subject is usually themselves, their least favorite is usually you. 
• 2. When someone shares a story, don’t try to one up them.  Truly listen and then ask them 1 follow up question to dig a little deeper, this will make someone feel that you really are listening and that you truly do care about what they are saying.
• 3. Write down one thing that you are grateful for everyday.  After a few months, this one step can help rewire your ideas and thought process.
• 4.  Say a sincere, specific thank you to someone every day.  If possible thank the person in front of others as well.  People tend to remember how you make them feel more than what you actually say.  I have learned this the hard way with my daughters. 
• 5. Be consistent and communicate often.  The two worst things you can do to kill your “it” factor is to be all over the place to where people are afraid to approach you and to make others try to read your mind.  The more clear and consistent you can be, the more likely other people will reach the goals you set out which leads to a better relationship.
• 6. No complaining rule.  Don’t complain about things around others that you are trying to lead.  I remember Zig Ziglar saying that the problem with a pity party is that too many people show up and no one brings a gift. 
• 7. Don’t speak poorly of others.  Always try to build others up, don’t tear them down in front of others.  Other people listening will start to wonder what you say about them behind their back. 
• The only way to really stir up someone’s soul is through a human connection and building a real relationship where you care about the other person’s success as much as or more than your own.