Here is one formula to help create amazing relationships in your life: give 51% in every relationship that you are a part of. That’s as simple as it gets, if you give more than you expect to receive you will have amazing relationships throughout your entire life.
- Below are 5 ideas that can help you build amazing relationships:
- 1. The Platinum Rule. Treat others how THEY want to be treated. The first time I heard this it was an “ah-ha” moment. So many times we focus on ourselves and what we want, we think that others must want the same thing. The reality is that we are all different and if we were to take the time to find out what others want and how they want to be treated, it may not be how we think.
- 2. Treat people as if they only had 1 day to live. So many times we ask the question to each other of what would you do if you only had 1 day to live? The real question we need to ask is how we would treat someone else if we knew they only had one day to live. Would you be a little more encouraging, forgiving or loving? I thought so.
- 3. If it feels good, don’t say it. This advice has been very useful to me in the past as it gets me to hold back on a negative comment at times that would do nothing to improve the situation. So many times we think we need to be right so we try to get the last word in. Other times we just want to lash out and verbally attack someone to make ourselves feel good. One thing I can say is that feeling good this way is only temporary.
- 4. As Steven Covey said, “people don’t care about how much you know until they know how much you care.” The #1 way you can show that you care is to listen. People love to talk about themselves, it is usually their favorite subject. Ask questions and let them talk, then when you ask a follow up question to their last statement they really feel like you care. A good conversation is like a game of ping pong. The ball should go back and forth over the net. So many times we are thinking about what we want to say or trying to one up the story with one of our own that we forget to actually listen to what the other person has to say. When we obsess about the next, we forget about the now and that in turn puts the next in danger. Be present in the now to achieve greater results.
- 5. Think win / win. Do you look at relationships as a win / lose or a need to win at all costs? If you do, you most likely have some relationship issues. We need look at how can both of us win at this relationship. Sometimes it helps to take a step back and view the situation entirely from the other perspective and try to see what a middle ground may be. The other point to think about here is the following question: Do you spend more time trying to make your point or more time trying to understand the other person’s point of view? Think about this next time you are in a situation where you feel yourself trying to win an argument.
- All in all it comes down to focusing on others first, not yourself.